Shelley (lamelikewhoa) wrote in geelbeetee,
Shelley
lamelikewhoa
geelbeetee

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because we can write about anything...

My God can you say this was the most emotional fucking day ever? So, I came out to my mom. oi. Love. Then Heartbreak. And then coming out. Please, someone join me in my pityparty.

I woke up feeling antsy and bad. I wondered what happened with Lynzey and Liz that night. I knew that this was going to be a bad day. Sometimes you just know, you know? So the day just goes along.. I end up going to the movie, only leaving my computer and Lynzey because she basically assured me that she was 'picking me' over Liz. And then that.. "Lynzey, did something bad happen while I was gone?" and then. "Oh God. I love Liz. I think you can figure the rest out for yourself."

My heart, froze. I stopped doing anything. I thought right then and there I had died. I had to leave the house because I couldn't let my mom see that I was crying. So I left and went and got coffee, and went to borders with Carol. She is so my savoir.

But I come home, and my mom knows something is wrong. After about ten minutes of her poking and prodding for an explanation, I finally say "Mom, I think I'm a lesbian. But I'm not sure." And it went from there. I always knew my mom was open. She was more concerned about me feeling like I had to lock everything up, and not being able to talk to her then me being a lesbian or whatever. She said "as long as you are happy and healthy, we don't care if you are a lesbian, straight, or bisexual." And thats good. I'm just glad this didn't happen while my brother and dad were awake. I would hate to have this conversation with them. Oi. I haven't cried so much in so long. It feels like I can't breathe.

I just thank God that my mom is so accepting. This could have turned out so much worse. And that would have sucked.
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